Bacon Peanut Butter Cookies

72 days. That's the length of Kim Kardashian's recent marriage to Kris Humphries (let's call him a C-list NBA player). I'm sure it took longer than 72 days to plan Kim Kardashian's wedding.

And maybe 72 days of dating before her hubby even proposed. Maybe.

Now, tell me, why on earth was this woman allowed to get married?

I know these questions have nothing to do with Bacon Peanut Butter Cookies except that they are both JUST. PLAIN. WRONG.

I mean, how dare she spoil the sanctity of marriage? Abusing the privilege that so many gay couples are still denied across the country?

How dare I question the perfection of a cookie by making it entirely of peanut butter, bacon and a little egg and baking soda?!

How dare we both?!

Now I know of two things for sure that the gays are now majorly over: Kim Kardashian and cookies with more calories than the number of days Kim was married.

Cheers to your divorce Kim! I'll toast your remarkable PR machine with an incredibly fattening cookie to match your giant be-hind and swoosh it down with some Colt 45 in celebration of your tacky, tacky ways.

Recipe after the jump...

Bacon Peanut Butter Cookies

Makes about a dozen cookies. Recipe adapted from Joy The Baker.

  • 1 cup all-natural smooth peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 6 slices bacon, diced into 1/4" pieces

In a large skillet, fry bacon pieces until cooked through. Using a slotted spoon, remove crispy bacon niblets to a paper towel to soak up any extra fat.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a baking sheet with oil or butter, set aside.

In a mixing bowl, combine peanut butter and sugar and mix well until creamy, about 2 minutes. Next add egg and baking soda and continue to mix on medium speed until fully incorporated. Fold in cooked bacon.

Using your hands, roll dough into about 1" balls and place about 2 inches apart on baking sheet. Using a fork, press down cookies in a criss-cross.

Baking for 10 minutes. Cookies will be puffy and soft on the inside, and seem uncooked. They'll harden once removed from the oven.